Title: Shadow Side of Me Ch. 2
Characters: Yesung, Siwon, Ryeowook, Kyuhyun, Park Jooryo (OC), the rest of Super Junior members.
Pairing: Yewon, close friendship of KRY
Genre: Fluff, Romance
Summary: He won’t let his selfishness ruined his beloved dongsaengs' dream. But the so-called sacrifice hurt him the most.
Disclaimer: I only own the story, plot, and the original characters. The fiction don't resemble the real life of the characters.
Apparently, the other members in the car saw his furrowed brows and felt anxious for him.
"Hyung, are you ok? You seemed so pale," Ryeowook voiced, astonished as just a few minutes ago Yesung was so in a good, happy mood and now he's frowning.
"Uh? Ah, no, I'm fine…" Yesung tried to smile in front of his dongsaengs. He hated the fact that they sat inside a van with chairs facing each other.
"But Hyung, I saw you were acting rather weird these days… you looked so lost so often," Ryeowook voiced his concern for his hyung.
Kyuhyun nodded and added, "Even Hyung didn't seem like you're enthusiast enough in practicing songs, I wonder why? Something bother you?"
Damn Kyuhyun and Ryeowook for their concern, Yesung thought. He nodded his head lightly, tried to assure his brothers. "I'm fine. Just a bit lonely, I guess…"
There was an uncomfortable silence inside the van for some seconds.
"Do you miss Siwon?"
Leeteuk's question really surprised him and he blushed furiously.
"Aah so it’s Siwon hyung then… look at how red your face is right now Hyung!" Kyuhyun laughed hard.
"No!" Yesung could only manage a cute denial while he felt the hotness all over his face. "Hyung how could you said things like that!" he glared at Leeteuk's grinning face.
"Hyung so cute," Ryeowook's short comment made Yesung blushed more and more.
"THere’s no need to feel ashamed of being gay, Yesung, you should know that we will give you our full support." Leeteuk patted Yesung's back and Yesung automatically coughed.
"Hyung! What are you talking about!!" Yesung whined to the grinning man beside him and blushed continuously. "It's… it’s not like that. I miss Siwon as his hyung," he stated, bravely glaring at the other members in the car.
"Just wait," the magnae said with a smirk. "Love will find a way…"
Yesung pretended not to hear him and looked outside the window, as their van passed the highway of the busy Seoul.
Though he pretended, actually his brothers' words were knocking his head abruptly. What if his feelings for Siwon is more than a hyung's to a dongsaeng? What if he really is gay? What will Siwon's reaction be, that man is a slight homophobe, Yesung knew that for sure…
No, I'm not gay, Yesung thought, as he was sure he never felt this kind of feeling to any other man. Not even a slightest! It's just Siwon… it's only Siwon whose touch made him dizzy with happiness, whose attention sent butterflies to his stomach. While other men's made him disgusted…
Once again his mind shifted to Park Jooryo and he shivered.
No, he's not gay, and he was sure that his feelings for Siwon was just special. No more, no less.
As they entered the hotel room after rehearsal in Shanghai, Yesung found Siwon was roomed with him. He silently thanked Leeteuk for arranging things so that he could be close with a dongsaeng he had miss more than he should be.
He went to open the room's door when he felt some firm arms in his waist, hugging him from behind.
"Hyung! Finally I get the same room as you." Siwon whispered in his ears.
A little bit shocked, Yesung squirmed until Siwon let his waist go from his grasp.
"Yah! Siwon you really shocked me!"
Siwon grinned sheepishly in front of him, looking amusedly handsome with his dimples.
"I'm sorry Hyung… there were too many people on the rehearsal that I couldn't approach you." His face was so cute like a little kid and Yesung felt his heart fluttered. "I miss Hyung so much."
Yesung hugged him, not so tight, to show the dongsaeng that he missed him too. "Hyung missed you too Siwonnie. Now let's get in and take some rest," he said, trying to ignore the rapid heartbeat of him.
But the younger man tightened his hug until he could rest his head on Yesung's shoulder.
"Wait a minute.. I miss how you smell Hyung," and Yesung could totally feel his face redden.
"Errr… but we are sweating…" Yesung's voice turned weak as Siwon's left hand brushed to his spine. "Hey come on I wanna get some shower," Yesung forcefully released himself from the hug and went inside the room. He needed to hide his terribly flushed face.
"Hyung I bought you a traditional Chinese charm," Siwon said as he sat down in his bed beside Yesung's. His hands went to grab something from his backpack and passed the other man a small brown wooden box with red flowers paintings on it.
"What's this?" Yesung asked as his hands went to open the box.
"Eeeh! Don't open it yet!" Siwon almost jumped from the bed and quickly grabbed the box away from Yesung's grasp.
"Eung?" Yesung's confused face was so cute.
"Uhm, I forgot to tell. This charm should only be opened at the full moon.." Yesung watched confusedly as Siwon's face was so red as if he was embarrassed. "This.. Is a lover's charm. Open it together with the one you love while watching full moon and this will make your love last forever.. Or that's what the old man said."
Yesung couldn't help but smiling shyly hearing what the taller man said. Siwon was so religious but he gave him a charm! And look at his face.. Yesung really wonder why.
"Here.." Siwon hesitantly extended his right hand to Yesung to pass the box. "Remember, don't open it yet, Hyung. I myself haven't before I give you.."
"So you don't know what's inside?"
He shaked his head softly. "Open it with the one you really love at full moon," he said again as if doubting Yesung's memory to register it to his mind.
"I will, thank you Siwon," Yesung said softly, and then their eyes met.
It was a brief of an awkward silence until Siwon raised from his seat. "I.. I will take a bath first. You don't mind, Hyung?"
Yesung just nodded and while Siwon was inside the bathroom he spent the time alone to examine the box in his hand. It was shaped like a treasure chest only looked sweet and feminine because of the red flowers painting. The box was light and small as he could fit it inside his small palm. The handle to the slit was a golden flower, the same as the flower painting. It was such a nice box, gave off the feeling of ancient China and luxury at the same time.
Yesung wondered if he also had to give his dongsaeng something in return..
"I'm finished, it's your turn now," Siwon suddenly called, awkwardly.
Yesung looked up to see him in his bathrobe, then quickly placed the box on the bedside drawer. He grabbed some of his toilettries and went in to the bathroom.
"Hyung," Siwon called again from his bed, "see you!" he said with a wink.
"Huh?" Yesung said confused as he entered the bathroom.
It was such a fun night for both of them, as Siwon countlessly teased Yesung and made him forget all his problems. Yesung sang a few songs for the younger from the upcoming KRY album, and he couldn't be less happy that Jooryo never bothered him that night in his mind.
He wondered if it's Siwon who gave him that relieving feelings, as he went to sleep, feeling safe that Siwon was by his side.
The next day, the two seemed like they're unseparable. Yesung was always there with Siwon, and vice versa. The members were starting to tease them, especially the double magnaes.
"Ehm, seemed like there's no more lonely people in this world," Kyuhyun suddenly went to Yesung side as they were having lunch at the hotel's restaurant.
Yesung was waiting for Siwon to get some drinks for both of them and blushed hearing Kyuhyun's words.
"What a beautiful world it is.. We love you Shanghai!" Ryeowook giggled cutely from his seat in front of Kyuhyun.
"Why do we love Shanghai?" Donghae from Ryeowook's side asked innocently to his dongsaeng.
"Nothing Hae you better eat by yourself," Yesung told him with shattered teeth then moved away from Kyuhyun, to sat beside Sungmin who was busily chatting with Shindong.
"Kyaaaa he's blushing!" Ryeowook laughed happily.
"Who?" asked Donghae again.
"Hey Hyung why do you moved here?" Siwon suddenly sat beside Yesung, hands full of iced tea he brought for him and his hyung.
"Godness Siwon, why do you always surprised me to death!" Yesung pretended to get mad as he almost choked on his watermelon.
"Don't worry Hyung we won't disturb you lovebirds!" Kyuhyun said so slowly that made Ryeowook bursted to laughs.
Yesung felt his face reddened like crazy and chose to grab the beverage from Siwon's hands, pretended not to hear anything.
The concert was really crowded as usual, Chinese ELF are one of the most enthusiastic ELF out there and Yesung was always in a good mood. Thanks to them, so many girls were carrying his banner for him to see and made him feels glad that they loved him.
But when he saw a banner with Korean words, "Yesung is Our Best Singer", his mind snapped back to Jooryo and what he said that night. "… you're so full of yourself thinking that you're our best singer," that was what the filthy man said before he did the nasty things to him…
In an instant his mood dropped as those moment had once again evading his mind.
He was frustrated. When it was the other member's solo stage, he hurrily searched for his backpack where he placed all of his necessary belongings such as clothes and gadgets and found what he really needed.
His larynx medicines.
How stupid he was, he realized it, for abandoning these tablets. If he regularly consumed them as prescripted, he would never got those horrible thing from Jooryo. Perhaps his singing wouldn't be as tiring and tormenting, and the most important thing is that Jooryo would never rape him!
He drank the meds and gulped as many water as possible. He felt rage consumed him, his breath hitched. He thanked God that he found the empty bathroom where he could be totally alone for what it seemed like ten minutes, to calm himself down.
But suddenly Kyuhyun went into the bathroom, and found him there with red face and shattered teeth facing the mirror above a wastafel. The magnae then could sense something's not right with him.
"Hyung! What are you…" he stopped as he saw the bottles of medicines placed inside the wastafel. "Oh, a good thing you take your medicine well," he said hesitantly as he saw Yesung's unpleasant expression.
Saying nothing, Yesung replaced his medicines into his personal medicine box and dashed out of the bathroom without even uttered a word or glancing at his younger fellow.
Yesung swore he'll never ever abandon his medicine and his larynx condition anymore. He wanna get rid of Jooryo, stopping whatever was the bastard think he could use to legitimate his beasty act anymore.
Yesung almost broke down during his solo. He was trying hard not to cry in front of his clueless fans, but he couldn't hide how broken he was as every word of Just for One Day perfectly sung by his mouth. If Jooryo thought it's not good enough, he must see those ELF. They'll prove him wrong to his face! Yesung didn't deserve what Jooryo did to him!
The fans' chants of his name accompanied him to the backstage. And there were Siwon and the members around him now, asking whether he's alright as he almost broke down on stage.
"I'm fine, just fine," Yesung said lowly.
Siwon seemed like he knew that something was wrong. He silently grabbed Yesung's wrist and brought him into an empty changing room. Yesung couldn't escape from the firm grasp that was Siwon, but did nothing to protest either.
He was tired, too tired, mentally.
"Hyung what happened to you?" the younger demanded and look straightly into his eyes.
"No, nothing is wrong with me. Now let me go. We have to re-entered the stage in any minutes." Yesung said, trying his best to looked calm in front of Siwon's scrutinizing eyes.
Yesung felt really thankful to the members and the fans. Their bubbly attitude on stage was drifting his mind away from his own problems that fulfilled his brain. The fans' neverending support and admiration made him feels that his life is meaningful, that it's not completely worthless and that he was actually loved by many. It was so fun, while Yesung realized that Siwon, especially, had really paying some nice attention to him, more than usual.
Siwon tried hard to make him smile again as they resumed the concert. It meant… Siwon's way. That was skinship.
Yesung didn't mind it when the younger man hugged him from behind while they taught the ELF the You & I dance. He only felt peace and happiness as those big arms wrapped around his waist, as he supposed to do his promised dance. Yesung didn't understand why, it was a popping dance but the fans seemed to be hysterical about it. More like going crazy already seeing him wriggled his entire body, head to toe. And with Siwon, actually.
Siwon was with him, they wriggled their bodies together as the music playing, fangirls screamed like their mind were blown. On the other parts of the stage, the members also doing some couple-ish thingy, the stadium were full of happiness.
And during this time he felt like Jooryo was really irrelevant.
As he moved his body to the music, swaying with Siwon harmoniously, he realized that with their fans' love, actually he had nothing to be afraid of. Super Junior fans gave him warm feelings, creating a subtle bubble of securities around him and the members he loved. No one could ever hurt him while he had his fans, no one could ever broke the subtle layers of love, knowing that their fans will protect him…
Jooryo could never beat him, as long as Yesung had his fans by his side. Their support, their love, were gonna be his new sources of endurance.
Also the members, he added in his mind. They'd always support him whatever he did. And this man beside him… he took a glance at Siwon as the younger brought the older's smaller body to the side with ony one hand on his waist. He knew Siwon would do anything to protect him, he was so sure about it.
But he wish he could trust him enough to share his pain.
No, Yesung slightly shaked his head. He wouldn't bother his handsome dongsaeng with some of his shallow problems. Siwon might does something bad to Jooryo, something bad to the management, that will affecting his own career, endanger himself.
Another thing, he might got engrossed with the truth! Yesung couldn't imagine how will Siwon react if only he knew that his hyung is dirty. Doing a sin.
He might lost him.
Yesung concluded that he could always rely on to Siwon to cheer him up, but not to burden him with his problems. He could keep himself happy that way, though, since he's not that extrovert person.
It gave him a jolted sensation.
The sensation he never thought about before.
Choi Siwon rubbed his forehead in confusion as he thought about the event happened two days ago. He sighed deep, supposed to get to sleep yet that evening was still haunting his mind. Actually there's a person who was currently invading his mind, not to mention his imaginations. And dreams, his inner feeling frankly told his brain.
Yesung hyung was confusing the face of Super Junior for months already, but that event in the Shanghai concert is driving him out of the edge.
Siwon won't forget that feeling forever.
What he wanted was to hold his cute hyung. To make him smile again. To show him that his dongsaeng was always there for him whenever he broke down. To give that fragile man some warmth… to show him some love.
Siwon hated his heart when it told him the last part.
He admitted that feeling of his for quite a while. What else he had to do when he just couldn't stop thinking about Yesung? How Yesung was really care of him, willing to spend much time to hear Siwon's stories--not many people will, though. No one would really like stories of girls and boys from work confessing to him each days, how do designers openly flirting with him shamelessly, stuffs like that--but Yesung had always been a good listener. During hard times, his laughters could snap Siwon's sane mind out, having fun only both of them, listening to the small man's endless boring jokes and Siwon found himself happier and relaxed, more than ever. Siwon always liked talkative people, but Yesung was a special talkative person since he's also willing to hear, and shared opinion without judging…
And sometimes Siwon just got lost into his face. He didn't know why, he loved to stare to Yesung's small eyes. Those eyes were always fascinating, glinted with feelings. Siwon understand that Yesung's eyes always reflected the deepest feelings of the petite man. Those eyes never lied once, just like how Yesung never lied to anybody. Whenever he's mad at Siwon, those eyes turned so cold that makes Siwon shivered. When he laughs, those eyes were always filled with passion and love, making him lost further and further.
Siwon was really ashamed to admit that he has a special spot for the older's lips. He had to admit that it's really beautiful, sliced nicely that the bottom is full and the upper is shaped exotically. Sometimes the lips were dry and Siwon had to control some weird feelings of his own tongue, not to wet those chapped lips, to make it less dry. Ok, he admit that he was always wanted to taste the luscious lips, but he always abled to shove those thoughts away.
He was actually rather upset. Loving Yesung meant he's gay, right? But actually he never liked any other man than Yesung. Only this one man had made him feel this way. Not even Stella, his ex girlfriend for years, could make Siwon this happy, confused, and anxious as a dumbstruck lover as when he was with Yesung. He was a mere human, whom Siwon fell in love with. And he happened to be a male, as simple as that, Siwon thought as he rolled on his bed, facing the other side of the room
And being gay was a sin in Christian faith, he fully understood the fact, yet couldn't do anything to stop his aching feeling… He chose not to give the feelings any damn, tried to ignore his loud heartbeat and acted normally as friends.
He was so sure he could just abandon the love.
Until the moment he hugged his hyung in that Shanghai concert during You & I.
He felt some weird, unfamiliar feeling in his lower part of body when he wrapped the petite boy in his arms. He got used already with the feeling of Yesung's warmth in his embrace, that man was always warm. He got used to smell his soft scent of vanilla perfume and ginseng hair tonic, he got used with Yesung's back pressed tightly into his chest. In fact, backhugging people, especially Yesung, was his favorite.
But the feeling of his private area in Yesung's bottom was another different thing.
When they were jumping, along with the choreo prompt of Yesung's own, Siwon felt the magnificent sensation of his crotch pressed tightly to the older man's buttocks.
It was crazy.
With blushing face, Siwon tried hard not to let the memory clouding his head again. The way his 'little brother', covered in his thick fabric was brushed to the buttocks with every little jump they took. The friction almost made him moaned absentmindedly, the feeling of his member getting really excited was blowing his mind away. He was being brought into the cloud nine for a few seconds, with the pleasure emanating from his most private area to every single cell of his being…
He just hoped that his hyung didn't feel how 'excited' his groin was.
He just hoped that no one ever had the time to notice his pleasured face.
"It's just so not right, not right!!!" Siwon shaked his head in amusement as he felt his body get hotter and there was something, twitching painfully inside his pants. "Damn it, Yesung," he grumbled.
He was just taking a bath about half an hour ago, but apparently he needed to repeat the same procedure right now. Jerking himself wasn't a really pleasant choice but there's nothing else the muscled man could do.
Siwon went to his bathroom, ready to grab his other dry towel from the cabinet when his cellphone rang.
"Aish… really!" abandoning his twitching erection, he answered the phone half-heartedly.
"Hallo?" he asked, unsure, as it was an unregistered number.
"Choi Siwon?" a husky, heavy voice from the opposite line asked him back.
"Yes this is Choi Siwon speaking. May I know who are you?"
He heard the man chuckled lightly. "This is Park Jooryo, KRY's vocal trainer. We need to talk."
A/N: Finally an update after two weeks... I hope people still remember this fic. Comments are loved^^